EXNX

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• Jj

  what if there is a better version in real life
  everything is tied to a memory of me driving
  alone, i should’ve done something up north
  wrong, then i would’ve hated both of us
  the biggest secret ever kept
  doesn’t exist but in my mind
  i can say that i have nothing more to tell
  yet i feel like i’ve still chapters to read
  i’m not too interested because the bad girl wins

  but anyway what if there is a better version in real life
  she is a movie star in my eyes
  maybe she would like me with knotted hair
  maybe she would like me with short hair
  maybe she would like me with no hair
  i would like her with hair on my face
  i could show her my passport
  that would be how i say “yes i will marry you”

  let’s live together in the snowy city
  she’ll hit me until my issues go away
  i’ll yell at her until her issues go away
  but i’ll always squeeze her lemonade
  the sweet taste of “you asked me to”
  i will stop as soon as she says the password
  but please if i ever tell her to stop
  don’t, because i need it
  let’s cut together

  i’m still alive, aren’t i?

  nothing about you could make me smile